3333, Legally: Inside The Operation To Make Boone Steeper
October 10th, 2025
BOONE - Have your walks been winding you more than seemingly ever before? Are your quads burning from walks that were routine last year? You’re not making things up. After a series of exclusive interviews with Campus Construction, the truth is finally out.
During the summer of 2025, Appalachian State University came under fire for false marketing. It turns out that the claim that App was at Elevation 3333 was in violation of a misinformation statute in North Carolina. When below a certain percentage of the campus land was below 3333 feet, App State could be sued for falsely advertising this height status. Under the direction of Heather Norris, an ambitious plan was unfurled; rather than reverse the marketing, what if we raised the town?
Working fervently over the summer, the university set to work doing that. The operations cannibalized several local mountains, but within two months the work was finished. Enough of App State’s campus was now at or above 3333 feet; the marketing could stay.
This does mean, however, that much of campus now feels significantly taller. Some areas, like Stadium Drive, have increased their gradients to such a significant degree that their safety for car infrastructure is being questioned by the NCDOT. To avoid cramping when walking around campus, which now resembles a series of skiing moguls, the Rotten Appal Health and Wellness Division recommends you carry around at least one or two bananas – remember, a monkey never cramps.
During the summer of 2025, Appalachian State University came under fire for false marketing. It turns out that the claim that App was at Elevation 3333 was in violation of a misinformation statute in North Carolina. When below a certain percentage of the campus land was below 3333 feet, App State could be sued for falsely advertising this height status. Under the direction of Heather Norris, an ambitious plan was unfurled; rather than reverse the marketing, what if we raised the town?
Working fervently over the summer, the university set to work doing that. The operations cannibalized several local mountains, but within two months the work was finished. Enough of App State’s campus was now at or above 3333 feet; the marketing could stay.
This does mean, however, that much of campus now feels significantly taller. Some areas, like Stadium Drive, have increased their gradients to such a significant degree that their safety for car infrastructure is being questioned by the NCDOT. To avoid cramping when walking around campus, which now resembles a series of skiing moguls, the Rotten Appal Health and Wellness Division recommends you carry around at least one or two bananas – remember, a monkey never cramps.