App State Pledges 100% Recyclable Bottles To Be Thrown At Referees
October 26th, 2024
BOONE - As part of their robust sustainable development goals for the 2024-2025 academic year, Appalachian State is now leading a push to go green on Game Day. New initiatives include biodegradable pom-poms, visiting section solar panels, and 100% recyclable water bottles and beer cans to throw at dirty, conniving, unscrupulous referees who make bullshit calls. Since the breakout performance of University of Texas fans last week - throwing garbage on the field and somehow getting a call reversed- fan participation at the Rock has taken on a new dimension. App State administration hopes it can add an earth-friendly spin - and the Mountaineer spirit - to the NCAA’s newest tradition.
Students seem eager to participate in the new exercise in renewables. “It’s about sending a message”, says Senior Lucas Mitte. “Next ref that gives us some goofy ah [sic] PI call is getting a biodegradable Twea full of rocks to the dome. We’re not playing around anymore." Lucas is leading a campus cleanup drive with his fraternity to collect cans to hurl from the student section. He says he doesn’t care if WR Kaedin Robinson puts his cornerback in a casket; if a flag flies, somebody in Kidd Brewer is getting domed. Lucas claims that the environment has always been important to him.
For the administration, the program is untested but has promise. They hope to turn the plastic and aluminum used to trash the field into boats or shoes or something for children in Liberia, or somewhere like that, where they don’t have shoes or boats. At the same time, they hope the initiative can provide the spark App State football needs to get back on its feet after 3 straight losses. The football program refused to comment on the initiative, but head coach Shawn Clark was seen smiling for the first time since September 14th, and seeing as there is nothing else in his world that should be worth smiling about, it’s safe to say he’s on board.
Students seem eager to participate in the new exercise in renewables. “It’s about sending a message”, says Senior Lucas Mitte. “Next ref that gives us some goofy ah [sic] PI call is getting a biodegradable Twea full of rocks to the dome. We’re not playing around anymore." Lucas is leading a campus cleanup drive with his fraternity to collect cans to hurl from the student section. He says he doesn’t care if WR Kaedin Robinson puts his cornerback in a casket; if a flag flies, somebody in Kidd Brewer is getting domed. Lucas claims that the environment has always been important to him.
For the administration, the program is untested but has promise. They hope to turn the plastic and aluminum used to trash the field into boats or shoes or something for children in Liberia, or somewhere like that, where they don’t have shoes or boats. At the same time, they hope the initiative can provide the spark App State football needs to get back on its feet after 3 straight losses. The football program refused to comment on the initiative, but head coach Shawn Clark was seen smiling for the first time since September 14th, and seeing as there is nothing else in his world that should be worth smiling about, it’s safe to say he’s on board.