Appalachian State Unveils Five Year Plan to Replace Water Fountain in Rankin Science West
August 26th, 2024
RANKIN SCIENCE WEST - Amid student and faculty complaints that the drinking fountain in the bottom floor of Rankin Hall tasted “rusty” and “definitely not normal,” the campus Planning, Design, & Construction Office has announced that they intend to replace it with a new Elkay Bottle Filler like others seen around campus. However, in order to assure that the new fountain is in line with the long-term sustainability and well-being goals of the University, the proposal has expanded into a lengthy five-year plan for demo, replacement, and installation. The Rotten Appal is well aware of how recent long-term construction projects on and around App State campus have impacted the lives of many students and reached out to a spokesperson who is overseeing the process for more information on this sensitive topic.
“To begin with, we’ll be conducting a series of collaborative meetings with the student body government over the course of this academic year,” a project spokesperson explained on a Zoom call with the Rotten Appal Field Team while he fidgeted with stacks of colorful wooden blocks that looked like a few well-known University buildings. He continued, “We [in the Planning, Design & Construction Office] care deeply about the concerns of students on this campus, so we want to have them involved every step of the way.”
The first of these meetings was held Thursday, August 22. Though our correspondent declined to provide the Rotten Appal Field Team with a transcript, he assured us that they intend to “provide the community at Appalachian with something they would be excited to drink out of.”
Our spokesperson also shared the Office's current concept for the new water station. The drawings, which appeared to have been created with stable diffusion, deviated from the existing Elkay model with a clear modern edge. Though no two “sketches” were quite alike, all were indicative of 2020s design trends, possessing sleek interfaces, minimal sharp angles, and, usually, a number of USB-C ports.
“We’re looking to consider more than the immediate replacement and think ahead to a future of maximum student comfort and convenience,” he explained, beaming at his apparent favorite of the AI concept artworks. “While we could take the easy way out and only address the concerns of ‘iron oxide contamination,’” he said irreverently with air quotes, “we’re committing ourselves to ensure that the next generation of Mountaineers can refill their water by clapping or something.”
Of course, there has been no shortage of backlash in response to this controversial move. On Wednesday, a group of some fifty students gathered on Sanford Mall to protest renovations that some say are intrusive, stagnant, or downright wastes of money. The crowd touted signs with slogans like “It's Peacock Circle, Not Peacock Sickle!” and “No Wey, José.” No official comment has been made on the protest by administration, however, and it was disbanded after forty minutes when a nearby group of students asked if anyone wanted to play spikeball.
This is not the only ambitious undertaking to be added to the Campus Master Plan in recent months. Other major projects include the promise to install a single solar panel on the roof of the App State steam plant, schedules to replace all campus art installations except Squish within three years, a vague allusion to an upcoming “Rivers Street Parking Megaplex,” and an initiative to help repair damaged glass on five Appalcart bus stops by 2032.