Are You in a Twin Peaks Episode or Did You Just Walk Into Big Lots?
March 1st, 2021
Picture this: an intriguing lightning concept, odd juxtaposition of objects in relation to each other, the warmth of humanity completely sucked out of the room. Am I describing the Red Room from popular David Lynch series Twin Peaks? Possibly. But I also happen to be describing the most avant-garde retailer known to the western world: Big Lots.
If you ever wish to convince yourself that your life is a Truman Show-esque charade, that nothing you do is real or permanent, that everything you’ve worked for is nothing but artifice, you have no need to take shrooms or peyote. Simply drive to your local Big Lots and look around.
Watch the slightly malevolent, seemingly parentless children tear bargain-priced pillows off the shelves. Observe the only cashier stare wistfully into nothingness, perhaps contemplating their own reality. Take one step out of the food section and find yourself in a veritable Secret Garden of chintzy lawn ornaments.
If you’re feeling frisky, say literally anything to a person who works there. As they gaze past your iris into the very minutiae of your being, you’ll understand everything there is to know about the sublime nature of our own hubris as they tell you about how their family loves that Slip ‘N Slide you’re looking at. At your own peril, continue the conversation. Peruse the treasure trove of information you never asked for as it plops gracefully from the employee’s mouth onto the dusty linoleum. Yes, cerebral palsy is such an awful illness, we’re all very sorry to hear about your nephew.
Oh no. You didn’t plan for this, but it’s that time. You must push your dingy orange buggy past the forlorn sectionals, the wanton collection of country music CDs, and the alarmingly suspicious eyes of every other patron, and make your way to the bathroom. As you glance blankly towards the water stained doors, your attention is drawn elsewhere. A novelty miniature golf course, complete with a golf club leaning seductively against the plastic door frame. Your hands reach for the club, and before you know it, you’ve made a hole in one from a whole 1.5 feet away. As the ping pong ball totters gently inside the red solo cup, you understand the meaning of true enlightenment.
There is nothing, in the end. Nothing but Big Lots.
If you ever wish to convince yourself that your life is a Truman Show-esque charade, that nothing you do is real or permanent, that everything you’ve worked for is nothing but artifice, you have no need to take shrooms or peyote. Simply drive to your local Big Lots and look around.
Watch the slightly malevolent, seemingly parentless children tear bargain-priced pillows off the shelves. Observe the only cashier stare wistfully into nothingness, perhaps contemplating their own reality. Take one step out of the food section and find yourself in a veritable Secret Garden of chintzy lawn ornaments.
If you’re feeling frisky, say literally anything to a person who works there. As they gaze past your iris into the very minutiae of your being, you’ll understand everything there is to know about the sublime nature of our own hubris as they tell you about how their family loves that Slip ‘N Slide you’re looking at. At your own peril, continue the conversation. Peruse the treasure trove of information you never asked for as it plops gracefully from the employee’s mouth onto the dusty linoleum. Yes, cerebral palsy is such an awful illness, we’re all very sorry to hear about your nephew.
Oh no. You didn’t plan for this, but it’s that time. You must push your dingy orange buggy past the forlorn sectionals, the wanton collection of country music CDs, and the alarmingly suspicious eyes of every other patron, and make your way to the bathroom. As you glance blankly towards the water stained doors, your attention is drawn elsewhere. A novelty miniature golf course, complete with a golf club leaning seductively against the plastic door frame. Your hands reach for the club, and before you know it, you’ve made a hole in one from a whole 1.5 feet away. As the ping pong ball totters gently inside the red solo cup, you understand the meaning of true enlightenment.
There is nothing, in the end. Nothing but Big Lots.