Boone's Vassal State: A Tourist's Guide To The App State Hickory Campus
April Fools' Day, 2026
HICKORY - The Jewel of Catawba, The Working Man’s Durham, Hickville, The Big Chestnut. The town of Hickory is known by many names, but in our hearts we can describe it in only one word: home away from home. A bastion of culture from a simpler time, Hickory’s reputation precedes it as the premier destination to witness people of the earth in their natural habitat. So buckle your seatbelts, grab your family and get ready for the journey of a lifetime as you see a mountain town like very few you've seen before!
When going abroad, safety should be your number one priority. Luckily, Hickory has become much safer since Appalachian State wrested power from the former regime in the Yosef-sponsored coup d’etat of 2023. In an earlier time you may have needed an armed escort of Boone National Guard on the outskirts, but now it's almost as safe as being in the woods alone.
With the introduction of Appalachian influence, the economy and culture have flourished in the quaint hamlet of Hickory. Like art? The Hickory Museum of Art has plenty! Sports? Go watch the Crawdads play! Want to know more about the long, violent history? The Hickory Aviation Museum has you covered, with relics of real planes used by the terrorist Catawba Liberation Army (CLA) during their failed 2024 uprising.
Despite common misconceptions, the water in Hickory is totally safe to drink. In fact we encourage you to try it, and you'll never take what you have for granted again. The cuisine is rustic, exotic, and fierce. Small Barbecue restaurants (which they call “joints”) roast whole pig in their ancient ways, one bite and you'll be transported back decades ago to the first time they learned to cook meat.
So pack your bags, book a flight, and come on down to Hickory NC, where all your mountain dreams can really, truly, come true!
When going abroad, safety should be your number one priority. Luckily, Hickory has become much safer since Appalachian State wrested power from the former regime in the Yosef-sponsored coup d’etat of 2023. In an earlier time you may have needed an armed escort of Boone National Guard on the outskirts, but now it's almost as safe as being in the woods alone.
With the introduction of Appalachian influence, the economy and culture have flourished in the quaint hamlet of Hickory. Like art? The Hickory Museum of Art has plenty! Sports? Go watch the Crawdads play! Want to know more about the long, violent history? The Hickory Aviation Museum has you covered, with relics of real planes used by the terrorist Catawba Liberation Army (CLA) during their failed 2024 uprising.
Despite common misconceptions, the water in Hickory is totally safe to drink. In fact we encourage you to try it, and you'll never take what you have for granted again. The cuisine is rustic, exotic, and fierce. Small Barbecue restaurants (which they call “joints”) roast whole pig in their ancient ways, one bite and you'll be transported back decades ago to the first time they learned to cook meat.
So pack your bags, book a flight, and come on down to Hickory NC, where all your mountain dreams can really, truly, come true!