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Breaking: People Your Age Having More Fun Than You

February 1st, 2025
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ELSEWHERE, NORTH CAROLINA - It's one of those times of the year Mountaineers, where YOU are reminded that other people YOUR age are having more fun that YOU ever will at a sporting event at the university that YOU are paying tens of thousands for annually. While our compatriots in the Piedmont paint themselves navy blue and baby blue, YOU (yes YOU) just slipped on the last remaining strip of ice in town and planted your hands in disgusting gray roadside "snow." The drinks are flowing at every bar in the Triangle and YOU'RE drinking a PBR by YOURSELF in an apartment with the shutters closed. 

Make sure to call the Dukes and Tar Heels in your life. They'll be sure to remind YOU how much fun THEY'RE having. But hey, at least WE beat Georgia State.
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