Brian Laundrie Caught Hiding in Yosef Costume During App State Game
September 30th, 2021
BOONE, N.C. - At a press conference in the Rivers Street Parking Deck today, law enforcement sources confirmed that national fugitive Brian Laundrie was arrested inside of a Yosef mascot costume during a football game after allegedly murdering his girlfriend and evading law enforcement.
“We can today confirm that following a dedicated investigation by federal authorities and a gang of meddling kids with a talking dog, Brian Laundrie has been unmasked after hiding among us for weeks” said App State Police Chief Thaddeus Johnson. “To think that he was trusted to foster the unrivaled hospitality and sportsmanlike conduct App State is known for, and betrayed that trust, is unthinkable.”
“We are truly thankful to the talented amateur investigators who have inundated us with unconfirmed sightings of a skinny bald white dude with a beard,” said FBI Special Agent Gary Hall. “These well thought out reports were especially helpful given the fact that this is a very uncommon description of people in Boone.”
At press time, App State officials announced plans to use the reward money to buy class rings for the entire student body and definitely not their tuition.
“We can today confirm that following a dedicated investigation by federal authorities and a gang of meddling kids with a talking dog, Brian Laundrie has been unmasked after hiding among us for weeks” said App State Police Chief Thaddeus Johnson. “To think that he was trusted to foster the unrivaled hospitality and sportsmanlike conduct App State is known for, and betrayed that trust, is unthinkable.”
“We are truly thankful to the talented amateur investigators who have inundated us with unconfirmed sightings of a skinny bald white dude with a beard,” said FBI Special Agent Gary Hall. “These well thought out reports were especially helpful given the fact that this is a very uncommon description of people in Boone.”
At press time, App State officials announced plans to use the reward money to buy class rings for the entire student body and definitely not their tuition.