Everts Criticized for Authorizing Drone Strike on Georgia Southern Coach
January 10th, 2022
BOONE, NC - Students and international observers alike were in uproar today over Appalachian State Chancellor Sheri Everts authorizing a drone strike that killed Cletus McGlorp, Georgia Southern’s head football coach and several passers by.
“We in the strongest words possible condemn the targeted killing of Mr. McGlorp” said Reynaud Lavoie, a UN observer assigned to the Southern Appalachian region. “This is a clear escalation and provocation on the part of Appalachian State and will surely result in much more death and football tickets being sold.”
The reaction among Appalachian’s students has been mixed.
“ASU ASU ASU!” chanted Kevin Slater in front of a crowd of celebrating frat bros as he cracked open a Natty Light. “Sheri has proven her commitment to the war on Southern, and today is the day we started turning the tide!”
Not all reactions were as triumphant.
“Look, I get that McGlorp was a bad dude,” said sophomore Julia Glickstein. “I just feel bad for the touring high school seniors who were standing next to him.”
“We in the strongest words possible condemn the targeted killing of Mr. McGlorp” said Reynaud Lavoie, a UN observer assigned to the Southern Appalachian region. “This is a clear escalation and provocation on the part of Appalachian State and will surely result in much more death and football tickets being sold.”
The reaction among Appalachian’s students has been mixed.
“ASU ASU ASU!” chanted Kevin Slater in front of a crowd of celebrating frat bros as he cracked open a Natty Light. “Sheri has proven her commitment to the war on Southern, and today is the day we started turning the tide!”
Not all reactions were as triumphant.
“Look, I get that McGlorp was a bad dude,” said sophomore Julia Glickstein. “I just feel bad for the touring high school seniors who were standing next to him.”
