Five People On Campus We Think Are Transfers
February 1st, 2025
BOONE - With a new semester upon us, thousands of Mountaineers are back on campus, less happy than ever. The new semester brings reunions with friends and familiar faces, but a couple of unfamiliar ones as well. One of the most unsettling thoughts on our campus is that any given day you could be at Central sitting across from someone who learned the Heimlich at Clemson. The student code of conduct “don’t ask, don’t tell” transfer policy means we can’t be certain who did or didn’t make the journey over winter break, but here are 5 shifty figures were suspicious of:
HM - White dreadhead Mr. Bean lookalike |
I've seen you in my dorm three times this week and never before. Who are they letting into our homes?
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#5 - Fluffy hair, chin beard, black hoodie |
Stopped to admire the fallen snow on his way to class. Even took a selfie. First time buddy?
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#4 - Grey sweatpants, polo shirt, brown hair |
Held his plate out for the dining hall worker to serve him at the pizza station. I know a High Pointer when I see one.
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#3 - Long blond hair, freckles, Harvard hoodie |
Are you flexing the application cost? I'd wear my Spanish National Rowing Team shirt if it was fashionable to wear merch for things you don't qualify for.
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#2 - Ripped jeans, "Rush" shirt, oily complexion |
Had us hold the elevator open for him only to press the button for floor two. Transfer or not, I don't like you and I hope they make however you got here not a thing anymore.
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#1 - Looks exactly like my dead brother |
Leave me alone. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. He wouldn't have picked the same major as me. I know you're not really him. Why are you in all my classes. Please leave me be. It was an accident. Please.
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