Gangstalking Club Big Winner At Club Expo
January 24th, 2025
BOONE - If you are just now learning about App State’s Gangstalking Club, then there’s a pretty good chance that people are more aware of you than you are of them. At the club expo, this group showed up in force, recruiting members in secret to stalk their newest “targeted individual.” Our team had a brief conversation with one of the members, who was pretending to read the newspaper nonchalantly while sitting at Cascades. Apparently, their target this semester is a man named Thomas, who has already had 14 of his pencils stolen from his backpack this semester.
“We’re really excited this year,” said the Gangstalker. “We just got a hold of this thing called a LIDA machine! It’s like a radio device that can keep people awake by sending electromagnetic pulses through the wall!” He was watching Thomas interact with other groups that had set up tables between Cascades and Crossroads. Charles was pretending to do a crossword, but in the blocks, he was writing down observations on Thomas. “Last year, it took us three months to drive our target crazy, and we’re thinking that by keeping him a tiny bit sleep-deprived, we can cut that time in half!”
We were offered the chance to take part in the targeted harassment and jumped at the opportunity! As one member distracted Thomas with an unfunny meme on their phone, a second member unzipped his backpack. We walked in and snagged his charger, then a fourth member replaced it with a different type of charger that they had stolen from his house earlier that day.
We can’t wait to watch along with the rest of the student body as Thomas slowly slips into madness. If you know Thomas and want to help with the effort, be sure to stop in the hallway to pick up things if you're walking in front of him. He hates that. And call him Travis. He hates that even more.
“We’re really excited this year,” said the Gangstalker. “We just got a hold of this thing called a LIDA machine! It’s like a radio device that can keep people awake by sending electromagnetic pulses through the wall!” He was watching Thomas interact with other groups that had set up tables between Cascades and Crossroads. Charles was pretending to do a crossword, but in the blocks, he was writing down observations on Thomas. “Last year, it took us three months to drive our target crazy, and we’re thinking that by keeping him a tiny bit sleep-deprived, we can cut that time in half!”
We were offered the chance to take part in the targeted harassment and jumped at the opportunity! As one member distracted Thomas with an unfunny meme on their phone, a second member unzipped his backpack. We walked in and snagged his charger, then a fourth member replaced it with a different type of charger that they had stolen from his house earlier that day.
We can’t wait to watch along with the rest of the student body as Thomas slowly slips into madness. If you know Thomas and want to help with the effort, be sure to stop in the hallway to pick up things if you're walking in front of him. He hates that. And call him Travis. He hates that even more.