Religious Studies Class Front For Professor To Perfect His Crowdwork Routine
October 6th, 2025
I.G. GREER - Asbestos lingers in the air, it’s a rainy day outside, the lights are dimmed, and newly tenured Professor Derek Ingelhoff is working the crowd like a detective looking for clues.
“So how did you guys meet?” he asks two girls who met three minutes ago when they walked into the same classroom. Ingelhoff’s class is based around his “lectures” and features just three grades – two papers and attendance. He assigned three books this semester with no guidance on deadlines or reading pace: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Infinite Jest, and The Book of Mormon.
“What do you do?”
“I work at the Dining Hall.”
“Nice, what are we serving?”
Besides his abysmal RateMyProfessor numbers, Ingelhoff makes enemies for another reason – many of his jokes are jabs at the very thing his students believe they should be studying. Multiple students have come forth about these insensitive comments. When asked, Ingelhoff explained that they weren’t offensive, because his students understood that they would “be addressing religion from a purely naturalistic point of view” from the first day.
“So, are you and this guy dating?”
“It’s more of a situationship sort of thing.”
“So you just fuck and emotionally abuse each other?”
According to a recently leaked post-class survey by Ingelhoff himself, not one person enjoyed the show. It’s rare he gets so much as a snicker. But those shitty jokes are here to stay. As a professor of one of the most touchy subjects ever, Ingelhoff was sure to secure his tenure as soon as he could.
If this sounds like Hell/Jahannam/Shiol and you want your own taste of eternal suffering but you’re not a Religious Studies major, fret not! He frequents open mic nights across the High Country.
“What about you two in the back, what are your majors?”
“...construction management…” “...accounting…”
“Okay. You see, you guys you look like you run rival curated vintage pop-ups on Sanford.”
“So how did you guys meet?” he asks two girls who met three minutes ago when they walked into the same classroom. Ingelhoff’s class is based around his “lectures” and features just three grades – two papers and attendance. He assigned three books this semester with no guidance on deadlines or reading pace: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Infinite Jest, and The Book of Mormon.
“What do you do?”
“I work at the Dining Hall.”
“Nice, what are we serving?”
Besides his abysmal RateMyProfessor numbers, Ingelhoff makes enemies for another reason – many of his jokes are jabs at the very thing his students believe they should be studying. Multiple students have come forth about these insensitive comments. When asked, Ingelhoff explained that they weren’t offensive, because his students understood that they would “be addressing religion from a purely naturalistic point of view” from the first day.
“So, are you and this guy dating?”
“It’s more of a situationship sort of thing.”
“So you just fuck and emotionally abuse each other?”
According to a recently leaked post-class survey by Ingelhoff himself, not one person enjoyed the show. It’s rare he gets so much as a snicker. But those shitty jokes are here to stay. As a professor of one of the most touchy subjects ever, Ingelhoff was sure to secure his tenure as soon as he could.
If this sounds like Hell/Jahannam/Shiol and you want your own taste of eternal suffering but you’re not a Religious Studies major, fret not! He frequents open mic nights across the High Country.
“What about you two in the back, what are your majors?”
“...construction management…” “...accounting…”
“Okay. You see, you guys you look like you run rival curated vintage pop-ups on Sanford.”