Spike In COVID Cases After Typo On Safety Pamphlet
October 15, 2020
BOONE, NC – In what has been deemed “a bit of a major uh-oh,” Appalachian State faculty are scrambling to recover thousands of safety pamphlets that contain a very unfortunate typographical error.
“Oh god, oh shit, oh fuck,” we heard Gary Hawthorne, chairman of the Appalachian State COVID Safety Committee, scream as he sprinted around Sanford Mall, frantically collecting as many flyers as he could.
The error can be found on the very front page in very large, red, bold, highlighted, italicized, underlined letters; it reads, “STAY 6” APART.”
“Yeah, that really came back to bite us in the ass,” Hawthorne told our reporter, “We went all out on emphasizing the message of social distancing and remaining 6 feet apart from each other, but somehow another apostrophe snuck its way in there.”
Reports indicate that, soon after the pamphlet was made available to students, everyone began sprinting towards the closest human they could find and standing half a foot away from them. Not saying anything, they just stared at each other and breathe heavily.
“Dude, when I read the pamphlet, I was like, ‘no way, I can intimately gaze into my boys’ twinkling eyes again’ and… I’ve missed that,” said sophomore Jacob Riley, standing way too close to our Rotten Appal correspondent.
With a slight chuckle, and a single tear slowly rolling down his face, Hawthorne said, “I guess the only thing more dangerous than a highly contagious respiratory illness is sloppy proofreading.”
“Oh god, oh shit, oh fuck,” we heard Gary Hawthorne, chairman of the Appalachian State COVID Safety Committee, scream as he sprinted around Sanford Mall, frantically collecting as many flyers as he could.
The error can be found on the very front page in very large, red, bold, highlighted, italicized, underlined letters; it reads, “STAY 6” APART.”
“Yeah, that really came back to bite us in the ass,” Hawthorne told our reporter, “We went all out on emphasizing the message of social distancing and remaining 6 feet apart from each other, but somehow another apostrophe snuck its way in there.”
Reports indicate that, soon after the pamphlet was made available to students, everyone began sprinting towards the closest human they could find and standing half a foot away from them. Not saying anything, they just stared at each other and breathe heavily.
“Dude, when I read the pamphlet, I was like, ‘no way, I can intimately gaze into my boys’ twinkling eyes again’ and… I’ve missed that,” said sophomore Jacob Riley, standing way too close to our Rotten Appal correspondent.
With a slight chuckle, and a single tear slowly rolling down his face, Hawthorne said, “I guess the only thing more dangerous than a highly contagious respiratory illness is sloppy proofreading.”