EXPOSE: Tapp Room's Under-21 Only Speakeasy
September 5th, 2025
TAPP ROOM — Are you under 21? Are you looking for adventure? If you answered yes to either of those questions, the Rotten Appal Field Team has discovered something perfect for you. This is a little-known secret that we are proud to un-gatekeep for all of campus to see. If you go to Tapp Room with a fake ID, you're in for a big surprise. You would think that the big bouncer would just kick you down the steps like a word-slurring drunkard, but he has something greater in store for you.
The bouncer will actually take you into the kitchen and through a heavy metal door behind kegs of beer and then down some creaky stairs. Witnesses say that when their friends came back up, they were completely different. We sent in one of our Rotten Appal Field Team investigators to uncover what was down those stairs.
Reader, what we have discovered was fascinating. Our Field Team investigators walked down the stairs, passing chains and kegs until she was shown to a secret door by the bouncer. She stated that the bouncer said, "Don't tell anyone about this,” before opening the metal door to unveil a whole new dance floor and a whole separate band that was actually playing good music. It was supposedly like walking into a Capone-esque speakeasy. Apparently, this spot is very popular with the freshmen, due to many of them ordering “Can I get a Rum and Coke but with Vodka?” Our investigator ordered a Moscow Mule and it was completely milk. Our 26-year-old reporter was hit on by many drunken freshmen boys drinking “Vodkokes©”
So, reader, the decision is up to you. Will you bring a fake to Tapp Room? Will you go for the real party? Or will you be exposing Tapp's Gatsby-esque operation?
The bouncer will actually take you into the kitchen and through a heavy metal door behind kegs of beer and then down some creaky stairs. Witnesses say that when their friends came back up, they were completely different. We sent in one of our Rotten Appal Field Team investigators to uncover what was down those stairs.
Reader, what we have discovered was fascinating. Our Field Team investigators walked down the stairs, passing chains and kegs until she was shown to a secret door by the bouncer. She stated that the bouncer said, "Don't tell anyone about this,” before opening the metal door to unveil a whole new dance floor and a whole separate band that was actually playing good music. It was supposedly like walking into a Capone-esque speakeasy. Apparently, this spot is very popular with the freshmen, due to many of them ordering “Can I get a Rum and Coke but with Vodka?” Our investigator ordered a Moscow Mule and it was completely milk. Our 26-year-old reporter was hit on by many drunken freshmen boys drinking “Vodkokes©”
So, reader, the decision is up to you. Will you bring a fake to Tapp Room? Will you go for the real party? Or will you be exposing Tapp's Gatsby-esque operation?