This Just In: Another Cocky Asshole Ruins The Hawksbill Game Room For Like, Everyone
October 25th, 2023
HAWKSBILL GAME ROOM - This just in: another cocky asshole is ruining the Hawksbill Game Room for everyone around him.
Witnesses reported that the man arrived with a posse of timid friends, talking loudly about how he was an avid pool player and had skills beyond his years, ‘for no apparent reason.’ The man then proceeded to complain about how full the pool hall was to anyone in earshot. A female sophomore near the man was trying to enjoy a game of pool with her friends and reported being heckled and told to, “wrap it up, sweetie” repeatedly.
Once the man actually secured a table, he insisted on breaking, saying he would, “blow everyone out of the water.” After chalking his queue for at least twenty seconds, the man proceeded to pocket the cue ball on a lousy break, immediately insisting the stick slipped and that he should be allowed a redo. After being denied the redo, the man continued to complain about how the game was “rigged.” The man scratched on several occasions after accosting passersby and telling them to, “watch this.” On a particular longshot aimed at the four-ball, he asked a group of girls if they had seen American Sniper, only to miss entirely and pocket the cue ball. Again, the man reportedly demanded a redo and said it was a fluke. After catching up from an impressive six ball deficit, the man scratched the eight ball shot and lost the game. He blamed this on the warping of the stick.
A similar pattern followed for the next two games he played. Eyewitnesses (or alternatively, nosewitnesses) also claimed they smelled a nasty odor coming from the man. If you see or smell a cocky, misogynistic man in the gameroom, steer clear.
Witnesses reported that the man arrived with a posse of timid friends, talking loudly about how he was an avid pool player and had skills beyond his years, ‘for no apparent reason.’ The man then proceeded to complain about how full the pool hall was to anyone in earshot. A female sophomore near the man was trying to enjoy a game of pool with her friends and reported being heckled and told to, “wrap it up, sweetie” repeatedly.
Once the man actually secured a table, he insisted on breaking, saying he would, “blow everyone out of the water.” After chalking his queue for at least twenty seconds, the man proceeded to pocket the cue ball on a lousy break, immediately insisting the stick slipped and that he should be allowed a redo. After being denied the redo, the man continued to complain about how the game was “rigged.” The man scratched on several occasions after accosting passersby and telling them to, “watch this.” On a particular longshot aimed at the four-ball, he asked a group of girls if they had seen American Sniper, only to miss entirely and pocket the cue ball. Again, the man reportedly demanded a redo and said it was a fluke. After catching up from an impressive six ball deficit, the man scratched the eight ball shot and lost the game. He blamed this on the warping of the stick.
A similar pattern followed for the next two games he played. Eyewitnesses (or alternatively, nosewitnesses) also claimed they smelled a nasty odor coming from the man. If you see or smell a cocky, misogynistic man in the gameroom, steer clear.